Monday, July 9, 2007

We may be veagns, but we aren't pushovers

Would there be such a thing as guilt if there were no relatives? Probably, but there would be a lot less of it. I think my wife and I are looked down upon by our relatives because we refuse to allow any meat to come into our house. Our refrigerator, and our stove have never met meat before, and we would like to keep it that way. It's not that that we are against feeding our relatives. We enjoy cooking for them. We are happy to feed anyone who stops by, but we are a vegan household. Anita and I were musing about one of our parents getting sick and having to take care of one of them, and we kept thinking about how we keep our parent from bringing meat into our house. If there is any place you should have as a sanctuary, it should be your home. On a side note, on that recent family reunion in which we had to endure a massive barbecue, my wife's brother actually had the nerve to ask us to fetch him some barbecue because he wouldn't be attending the reunion. Are we assholes for refusing? Are we too sensitive because we can't stand the smell of meat? We may be vegans, but we aren't doormats.


  1. I think it just never occurs to a lot of people how differently vegetarians can view meat. What we view as a foul-smelling pile of animal carcass, they see as a tasty edible treat. And you can't really be surprised that they have that view, since it's a societal norm. Perhaps the best way to get them to think about it from your point of view is to try explaining it to them in a friendly, helpful manner? Focus on communicating where you're coming from, rather than passing judgement on their choices.

    I'm trying to imagine the reverse situation... where you asked your brother to pick you up some tofu salad or something, and him being too disgusted by tofu and refusing. :)

    How I wish more people would think about what they put into their bodies.

  2. Hey Jul,

    Those were some excellent points. Believe it or not, we have explained our point of view to the same people over and over. It's like they forget or just choose to ignore what we think. The only thing about asking a relative to get a vegetable dish is that they eat vegeatables (at least some of them). To us, meat is just offensive on every level. To them, vegetables are tasteless, health food. OK, I'm getting on my Zen face. More peace, more peace. (-:

  3. True - most people eat veggies, so that parallel doesn't really make as big of an impression. What about explaining how you feel about meat by comparing it to how they would feel about eating dog or monkey brains or horse testicles or something else that would disgust them? OK, not a very pleasant conversation topic for anyone involved. Just an idea. Go back to your zen face. :)

  4. I hear you Andrew, even if I'm much more meat-tolerant than you, I know how frustrating it is. They just don't get it and prolly never will.
    Their capacity to empathize is very limited, well, I guess that's why they eat meat.
    With other people I couldn't care less, but with relatives it's an ongoing frustration.
    Stay strong. :-)